There are just somethings most boys learn from their fathers and tying a tie is one of them. As a child, I always dressed up for church. This meant I was always wearing a tie. Now, in the beginning this was a clip on, and for me, usually a clip-on bow tie. You may say, "Funny, I did not realize you were born at the turn of the 20th century when bow ties still saw popularity outside black tie events. Hey, I was a trend-setter. These were not the type of clip-ons that you get when you rent tux. You know, the ones that go all the way around the neck. I am talking two little clips that hook to the collar... real classy. I was like 6, get over it. A big part of why I wore the bow tie, besides the fact that I enjoyed standing out in a crowd, was that a greeter at my church always said, "hey I like that tie." That was the only affirmation I needed to know I was doing something right. Coincidentally, I never knew the man's name at the time, but just referred to him as the bow-tie man.
On a side note, I was picked on fairly heavily at church. I always attributed it to the fact that most of the guys were jealous of my clip-on tie collection. One memory that sticks out in my mind is when a few of my fellow Sunday School peers took my little Gideon New Testament and played a rousing game of keep-away from the kid with the bow tie. I only add that little side bar because one of the guys who was having fun at my expense is now a good friend. Time really does heal all wounds.
But, with manhood on the horizon, I knew that the clip-on ties would have to be replaced. It's like training wheels on a bike. You have to grow up and do the real thing. Besides, it looks cool at the end of the day when you loosen your tie and unbutton the top button on your collar, and this is not, to my knowledge, an option with the clip-on.
Thankfully, when I was ready to make the transition from clip-on to real tie, my father was there to patiently show me how to tie a tie. This took several Sundays, but it was fun. He even gave me some of his old ties. So, I went from being the dork with the clip on to the dork with the ties that were cool back in the 70's. It is a found memory that I have of my father.
The point of this story is now ready to be revealed. The other day, I had a student come to school wearing a tie. He was very well dressed, but you could tell he had no idea how to tie a tie. I happened to be wearing a tie that day, so I pulled him out in the hall and asked him if he wanted me to show him how to tie his tie. He agreed. Now, I teach for a living and think I do a pretty good job explaining things, but I quickly saw that this was going to take more than a crash course in tie tying. I went ahead and tied the tie for him. It did not dawn on me at the time, but later when I was talking to my wife, I remembered that the young man did not live with his father. I do not know the circumstance of why his dad is not at home, but it just made me realize the impact him not being there had. If this kid does not have a dad there to teach him how to tie a tie, how many other more important things is he missing out on? I also thought how fortunate I was to have a mom and a dad in the same home that loved me. They will tell you they were not perfect, but they were both there and they loved me. We have a shortage of daddies in America and it is having a more harmful impact on our kids than alcohol, drugs, or any of the other things that can harm our children.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Blogging is not easy and Junior High Kids Can Be Less Than Loving
I am blown away by professional and simi-professional bloggers. There are some people out there that really have something to say. I thought I was one of them, but having only blogged about 8 times in two months I do not believe I can put myself in the same categories with real bloggers.
I enjoy the sound of my own typing. I think I am being productive. I could read a book, but after about 8:00 if I am reading it is like a formality before sleep. But I must stop and talk about something important so that I will keep my 3 followers interested. While I am on that topic. Thanks for reading my blog. We need to come up with a a secret hand shake. I would like to add at least 2 more people to my "following" so I could make up a rec-basketball team. Why 2 and not just one and include myself? Someone has to coach and keep a pair of fresh legs for last minute shots.
I would like to mention that I have attempted several other post. They did not make it past my wife and editor.
I did want to blog about something earlier this week and I guess now is a good time to do it.
Junior High Kids Can Be Less Than Loving
I love teaching junior high school Sunday school with my wife. The kids are funny and it has been a great way to get to really know the youth in my church. If you would have told me I would feel the way I do about junior high kids before I started teaching them at school and church I would have called you crazy. But, with all the fun they can be they can also be pretty hurtful. I hate this at school, but it breaks my heart to see it at church. Church has got to be a place of safety for these kids, but they themselves seem to make it just as harsh as the world outside. I was thinking about this for a while and it occurred to me. Are junior high kids any different than adults? I am not trying to be all doom and gloom. They may not be any harder on each other than the grown ups are. The grown ups have just learned to keep their mouth shut at the appropriate time. After all adults often wait until you leave the room to start talking about you junior high kids do it while you are in the same class. I will continue on a this some other time.
I enjoy the sound of my own typing. I think I am being productive. I could read a book, but after about 8:00 if I am reading it is like a formality before sleep. But I must stop and talk about something important so that I will keep my 3 followers interested. While I am on that topic. Thanks for reading my blog. We need to come up with a a secret hand shake. I would like to add at least 2 more people to my "following" so I could make up a rec-basketball team. Why 2 and not just one and include myself? Someone has to coach and keep a pair of fresh legs for last minute shots.
I would like to mention that I have attempted several other post. They did not make it past my wife and editor.
I did want to blog about something earlier this week and I guess now is a good time to do it.
Junior High Kids Can Be Less Than Loving
I love teaching junior high school Sunday school with my wife. The kids are funny and it has been a great way to get to really know the youth in my church. If you would have told me I would feel the way I do about junior high kids before I started teaching them at school and church I would have called you crazy. But, with all the fun they can be they can also be pretty hurtful. I hate this at school, but it breaks my heart to see it at church. Church has got to be a place of safety for these kids, but they themselves seem to make it just as harsh as the world outside. I was thinking about this for a while and it occurred to me. Are junior high kids any different than adults? I am not trying to be all doom and gloom. They may not be any harder on each other than the grown ups are. The grown ups have just learned to keep their mouth shut at the appropriate time. After all adults often wait until you leave the room to start talking about you junior high kids do it while you are in the same class. I will continue on a this some other time.
small stuff
My wife and I have been trying to sale my truck for a while, and finally we got to the point where we handed the whole thing over to the Lord and within about a week it was sold. Seriously at the beginning of the month we prayed that He would get it sold over the next month. Then two weekends ago I was looking at our finances for next year (Megan is staying home with our little girl) to see what we could expect, and it was the first time that I got concerned. I usually do not worry about money like I began to worry. I felt like we needed to get rid of the truck as soon as possible. Well that was a Saturday and we had the truck gone by Wednesday.
Why did I wait until I was scared and desperate before I surrendered all of this to Him.
Its like I do not trust the Lord to take care of the small stuff, and believe me in the whole scheme of things this was small, until I realize I can not do it myself. Why live life like that? Why not let Him take care of everything from the beginning? Why beat my head on the wall trying to accomplish things on my own?
Like I said there are many things of greater importance that selling a truck, but I do not think I need to live my life calling in God for help when I get overwhelmed. He knows what I need better than I.
Not sure why you need to know this, but there.
Why did I wait until I was scared and desperate before I surrendered all of this to Him.
Its like I do not trust the Lord to take care of the small stuff, and believe me in the whole scheme of things this was small, until I realize I can not do it myself. Why live life like that? Why not let Him take care of everything from the beginning? Why beat my head on the wall trying to accomplish things on my own?
Like I said there are many things of greater importance that selling a truck, but I do not think I need to live my life calling in God for help when I get overwhelmed. He knows what I need better than I.
Not sure why you need to know this, but there.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Good news for the people who spend
The bailout that Congress is considering will save or create 4 million jobs. What a great line. How can it fail, unless things get worse and only 3,999,999 people are employed in the U.S. There is no way to measure the success of the plan.
The economy is the least of our troubles if we believe what we were told last night. We were told that the Federal Government was the only entity left w/ enough resources to jolt the economy. First, I do not believe the Government can jolt anything and second, where does a government get "its" resources? The idea is that you can spend your way out of debt.
I saw on the news today that people in Connecticut were protesting outside of the homes of bank owners. They were complaining because the banks were doing nothing to help people who could not pay their home mortgages. Why is it the bank's problem that people can't afford their houses and why would a bank give someone a loan who cannot pay the ones they have. You could argue that the banks often gave loans to people they should not. This happened some I am sure, but banks often give loans to those who do not qualify for fear of being sued on the basis of discrimination.
We were also told last night that only Government can break this cycle we are in. I believe the only way to break the cycle is to live off of less than you make. We should do this on the individual level, business level and government level.
Part of the plan is to put money in the pockets of the people who will spend it. If this is done through tax cut for the working class, I am for it, but if it is done through another stimulus I think its a bad idea. The first stimulus did not work.
President Obama also said putting money in the hands of people who would spend it is the only way to save the economy. He is partly correct. For our economy to be successful, people do need to be spending money. Where he is wrong is that our economy works when people are spending their own money. Not borrowed money, not buying things on credit. This goes back to us trying to break the cycle. We are not going to break the cycle by doing the same things that put us in the cycle. We just do not want to face the fact that we cannot spend our way out of this problem.
I believe that we would come out of this thing stronger if we let the economy fix itself.
At least come up with something better than making my home more energy efficient.
The economy is the least of our troubles if we believe what we were told last night. We were told that the Federal Government was the only entity left w/ enough resources to jolt the economy. First, I do not believe the Government can jolt anything and second, where does a government get "its" resources? The idea is that you can spend your way out of debt.
I saw on the news today that people in Connecticut were protesting outside of the homes of bank owners. They were complaining because the banks were doing nothing to help people who could not pay their home mortgages. Why is it the bank's problem that people can't afford their houses and why would a bank give someone a loan who cannot pay the ones they have. You could argue that the banks often gave loans to people they should not. This happened some I am sure, but banks often give loans to those who do not qualify for fear of being sued on the basis of discrimination.
We were also told last night that only Government can break this cycle we are in. I believe the only way to break the cycle is to live off of less than you make. We should do this on the individual level, business level and government level.
Part of the plan is to put money in the pockets of the people who will spend it. If this is done through tax cut for the working class, I am for it, but if it is done through another stimulus I think its a bad idea. The first stimulus did not work.
President Obama also said putting money in the hands of people who would spend it is the only way to save the economy. He is partly correct. For our economy to be successful, people do need to be spending money. Where he is wrong is that our economy works when people are spending their own money. Not borrowed money, not buying things on credit. This goes back to us trying to break the cycle. We are not going to break the cycle by doing the same things that put us in the cycle. We just do not want to face the fact that we cannot spend our way out of this problem.
I believe that we would come out of this thing stronger if we let the economy fix itself.
At least come up with something better than making my home more energy efficient.
Monday, February 9, 2009
digging our heals in, or working without passion or what if we all loved our jobs
We have all seen a person who is not happy with his or her job. We probably have all had a job that we were less than thrilled about. The purpose here is not to talk about a J-O-B job, the kind of job you do because you have to. Instead, I am talking about people who find themselves in a field or particular atmosphere where they once felt called, but now have lost all passion. Let me take it a step farther because I know that there are some very hard jobs out there that are physically and mentally draining. At times in these jobs, people may find that they loose sight of what originally made them take the job, or go into a particular field. So, it can be expected to get frustrated while working in a very demanding field. It may even be best for you to think about quitting. I am not talking about these people.
Who I am talking about are the lifers. The ones who say if I can hold this together for 20 more years I can retire. That may be extreme, but you get the point. Why devote your life day in and day out to something that you do not love? Now, that is a tricky question. Is it possible to not love something you are called to do? I would say yes, but I do not think that God intends for it to be that way. I believe that there are people who are doing what they are supposed to be doing with their life, but are unhappy. Why would that be? Possibly and probably because they are looking to find their joy in their circumstances or they are too focused on self and not on others.
I may still be getting off track from what I originally intended to talk about. Is it worth being miserable doing a job you do not like and may not be called to do, just so you can have good benefits and retirement? When there is a question over the need to provide for your family, the answer may be yes. It should also be stated that some may go to work with the best attitude everyday, but a boss or coworker may be the cause of stress or unhappiness.
One more little point... We are so concerned with being able to retire and have good dental plans that we will go to jobs we truly do not like and may should have never began in the first place.
What if there was no company retirement systems and no social security? What if everyone worked hard and productive lives, and took care of their own retirement? Would we be happier people pursuing our dreams instead a peple jus dreaming about being able to retire? I believe that many people never go and do "it" whatever that "it" is for them because they may risk hurting their retirement. I believe this focus of being able to retire after 25 or 30 years of work has made us a more complacent country. If we only work so we can retire and our kids can have straight teeth (a reference back to benefits/dental....I thought it was funny), why are we working at all.
The strong, working class part of our country looks down on the many who are riding the wagon, but never pushing because they do not want to get out there and work. Well, many of that working class, if asked, would also say that they don't want to work.
Just added to the title and I leave you with this. What if we all loved our jobs?
I wrote earlier that my wife would be proofreading. As you can tell she has decided not to. I believe she is trying use the old give a man a fish, teach a man to fish proverb.
Sorry
Who I am talking about are the lifers. The ones who say if I can hold this together for 20 more years I can retire. That may be extreme, but you get the point. Why devote your life day in and day out to something that you do not love? Now, that is a tricky question. Is it possible to not love something you are called to do? I would say yes, but I do not think that God intends for it to be that way. I believe that there are people who are doing what they are supposed to be doing with their life, but are unhappy. Why would that be? Possibly and probably because they are looking to find their joy in their circumstances or they are too focused on self and not on others.
I may still be getting off track from what I originally intended to talk about. Is it worth being miserable doing a job you do not like and may not be called to do, just so you can have good benefits and retirement? When there is a question over the need to provide for your family, the answer may be yes. It should also be stated that some may go to work with the best attitude everyday, but a boss or coworker may be the cause of stress or unhappiness.
One more little point... We are so concerned with being able to retire and have good dental plans that we will go to jobs we truly do not like and may should have never began in the first place.
What if there was no company retirement systems and no social security? What if everyone worked hard and productive lives, and took care of their own retirement? Would we be happier people pursuing our dreams instead a peple jus dreaming about being able to retire? I believe that many people never go and do "it" whatever that "it" is for them because they may risk hurting their retirement. I believe this focus of being able to retire after 25 or 30 years of work has made us a more complacent country. If we only work so we can retire and our kids can have straight teeth (a reference back to benefits/dental....I thought it was funny), why are we working at all.
The strong, working class part of our country looks down on the many who are riding the wagon, but never pushing because they do not want to get out there and work. Well, many of that working class, if asked, would also say that they don't want to work.
Just added to the title and I leave you with this. What if we all loved our jobs?
I wrote earlier that my wife would be proofreading. As you can tell she has decided not to. I believe she is trying use the old give a man a fish, teach a man to fish proverb.
Sorry
Sunday, February 8, 2009
When the newness fades
You have just completed your first blog, what a rush. Knowing that your voice is being heard by millions is a bit overwhelming at first. You realize that you have just become one of the most influential people in someone else's life. Your opinions are now their opinions.With each blog you have altered the next days water cooler talk. With every well-constructed sentence you have shaken the foundation of what many have held fast to. The power of the blog must never be taken lightly. But when all of the newness fades and you no longer have the rush that comes from changing peoples way of thinking, what do you do?
I have found myself in this place. Maybe I shouldn't share this with my "followers" but I promised to be transparent. I realized that with great power comes great responsibility. I must not forget that many depend on my opinion. They need it they have none of their own, or at least not one as good as mine. This can weigh heavy on a man. Burdens like these have crushed lesser men, but I will prevail. Your need for my insight on topical issues can not be ignored.
Please understand that it may be several days between blogs. Getting a feel for the tone of the world at large and how best I can help straighten its course through this blog takes time. You don't know how many times I began an entry only to stop myself upon realizing that you are not ready for many of the things I have to say.
"How does this particular blog help me?" you ask. Two ways 1. I have let my guard down to show you that I, like you, can be worn down by difficult tasks. While running a family and a small business causes some to feel pressure, I too feel a similar pressure (to a lesser degree of course)when I am formulate millions of peoples opinion 2. I hope to show anyone interested in starting a blog that this is no light hearted decision. The masses depend on you. The impact of every word you type will be felt for many generations.
In closing, let me put your mind at ease. I am here to help for as long as you need me, and you will know when you no longer need me because I will tell you.
I have found myself in this place. Maybe I shouldn't share this with my "followers" but I promised to be transparent. I realized that with great power comes great responsibility. I must not forget that many depend on my opinion. They need it they have none of their own, or at least not one as good as mine. This can weigh heavy on a man. Burdens like these have crushed lesser men, but I will prevail. Your need for my insight on topical issues can not be ignored.
Please understand that it may be several days between blogs. Getting a feel for the tone of the world at large and how best I can help straighten its course through this blog takes time. You don't know how many times I began an entry only to stop myself upon realizing that you are not ready for many of the things I have to say.
"How does this particular blog help me?" you ask. Two ways 1. I have let my guard down to show you that I, like you, can be worn down by difficult tasks. While running a family and a small business causes some to feel pressure, I too feel a similar pressure (to a lesser degree of course)when I am formulate millions of peoples opinion 2. I hope to show anyone interested in starting a blog that this is no light hearted decision. The masses depend on you. The impact of every word you type will be felt for many generations.
In closing, let me put your mind at ease. I am here to help for as long as you need me, and you will know when you no longer need me because I will tell you.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
How a teacher sees a parent
Parents have the hardest job in the world, or so it has been said. Sadly many are not up for the challenge. Is that too harsh? Probably.
You can tell a tremendous amount about a parent without even meeting them if you teach their children. You may say, "hey, that's not fair- you can't hold parents responsible for the way their kids act at school," and you would be wrong. If a kid is walking into my classroom wearing over $150.00 in clothing while having an F in my class, I can tell we have our priorities out of line. It blows my mind that some of the best dressed kids in school have the lowest grades. How can a kid fail classes, get detentions, and still have $100 dollar shoes?
I know that this is a very simple blog. There are no deep nuggets of truth to be discovered, but sometimes you just have to get things off your chest.
It seems so simple to me. If your kid does not care about school, find out what they do care about and take it away from them. They may say that you are being unfair and you may not like making life so hard on them, but they did it to themselves. They chose not to care about their grade.
Seriously, when a kid is highly capable of passing and does not pass, in my mind, that's all on the parents. Cut out everything in their life but bread and water and some lame clothes and you will get their attention.
I have had a parent say, after we have talked about their child's poor performance, that they would motivate their child by giving them money for good grades...
Dang, parents can be dumb. I am not knocking you if you give your child some money for an A, but I always remember what one of my friend's dad said to him when he asked if he could get a sun roof put in his car if he made all A's. The dad said "no, but if you make all A's you can keep the car." How great is that? Expect your child to do well in school without having to hold a carrot out in front of them, and don't trick them into passing
Parents just want to be friends too often and a good friend doesn't do anything to upset their buddy.
A quick note on discipline. Kids tell their parents that the teachers at school just don't like me. That's why I always get in trouble. It's really not me, they just do not like me. Now, would I ever have said this to my parents? Did I even get a chance to talk when I was in trouble at school? No. But today's parents seem to be taking their kid's side more and more. Let me tell you why. Many of the kids with discipline problems seem to have young parents. (Before I go any farther I have nothing but my limited experience as a teacher to back up this hypothesis, so take it with a grain of salt.) Many of these parents, from my observations, did not have the best of experiences while in school. So, now that their kids are also having less then great experiences, they can relate to them. I believe their mindset when they are informed that their child is in trouble at school is less often, "I am going to straighten this kid out," and more often, "teachers had it out for me and now they have it out for my kid."
I may be wrong, but that won't keep me from bloggin about it.
In the end, I am just like the parents I complain about. I just want to pass the buck. No one wants to be to blamed for our own shortcomings, and since we never hold kids responsible, we have to put the blame somewhere.
You can tell a tremendous amount about a parent without even meeting them if you teach their children. You may say, "hey, that's not fair- you can't hold parents responsible for the way their kids act at school," and you would be wrong. If a kid is walking into my classroom wearing over $150.00 in clothing while having an F in my class, I can tell we have our priorities out of line. It blows my mind that some of the best dressed kids in school have the lowest grades. How can a kid fail classes, get detentions, and still have $100 dollar shoes?
I know that this is a very simple blog. There are no deep nuggets of truth to be discovered, but sometimes you just have to get things off your chest.
It seems so simple to me. If your kid does not care about school, find out what they do care about and take it away from them. They may say that you are being unfair and you may not like making life so hard on them, but they did it to themselves. They chose not to care about their grade.
Seriously, when a kid is highly capable of passing and does not pass, in my mind, that's all on the parents. Cut out everything in their life but bread and water and some lame clothes and you will get their attention.
I have had a parent say, after we have talked about their child's poor performance, that they would motivate their child by giving them money for good grades...
Dang, parents can be dumb. I am not knocking you if you give your child some money for an A, but I always remember what one of my friend's dad said to him when he asked if he could get a sun roof put in his car if he made all A's. The dad said "no, but if you make all A's you can keep the car." How great is that? Expect your child to do well in school without having to hold a carrot out in front of them, and don't trick them into passing
Parents just want to be friends too often and a good friend doesn't do anything to upset their buddy.
A quick note on discipline. Kids tell their parents that the teachers at school just don't like me. That's why I always get in trouble. It's really not me, they just do not like me. Now, would I ever have said this to my parents? Did I even get a chance to talk when I was in trouble at school? No. But today's parents seem to be taking their kid's side more and more. Let me tell you why. Many of the kids with discipline problems seem to have young parents. (Before I go any farther I have nothing but my limited experience as a teacher to back up this hypothesis, so take it with a grain of salt.) Many of these parents, from my observations, did not have the best of experiences while in school. So, now that their kids are also having less then great experiences, they can relate to them. I believe their mindset when they are informed that their child is in trouble at school is less often, "I am going to straighten this kid out," and more often, "teachers had it out for me and now they have it out for my kid."
I may be wrong, but that won't keep me from bloggin about it.
In the end, I am just like the parents I complain about. I just want to pass the buck. No one wants to be to blamed for our own shortcomings, and since we never hold kids responsible, we have to put the blame somewhere.
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