Something my dad taught me

There are just somethings most boys learn from their fathers and tying a tie is one of them. As a child, I always dressed up for church. This meant I was always wearing a tie. Now, in the beginning this was a clip on, and for me, usually a clip-on bow tie. You may say, "Funny, I did not realize you were born at the turn of the 20th century when bow ties still saw popularity outside black tie events. Hey, I was a trend-setter. These were not the type of clip-ons that you get when you rent tux. You know, the ones that go all the way around the neck. I am talking two little clips that hook to the collar... real classy. I was like 6, get over it. A big part of why I wore the bow tie, besides the fact that I enjoyed standing out in a crowd, was that a greeter at my church always said, "hey I like that tie." That was the only affirmation I needed to know I was doing something right. Coincidentally, I never knew the man's name at the time, but just referred to him as the bow-tie man.
On a side note, I was picked on fairly heavily at church. I always attributed it to the fact that most of the guys were jealous of my clip-on tie collection. One memory that sticks out in my mind is when a few of my fellow Sunday School peers took my little Gideon New Testament and played a rousing game of keep-away from the kid with the bow tie. I only add that little side bar because one of the guys who was having fun at my expense is now a good friend. Time really does heal all wounds.
But, with manhood on the horizon, I knew that the clip-on ties would have to be replaced. It's like training wheels on a bike. You have to grow up and do the real thing. Besides, it looks cool at the end of the day when you loosen your tie and unbutton the top button on your collar, and this is not, to my knowledge, an option with the clip-on.
Thankfully, when I was ready to make the transition from clip-on to real tie, my father was there to patiently show me how to tie a tie. This took several Sundays, but it was fun. He even gave me some of his old ties. So, I went from being the dork with the clip on to the dork with the ties that were cool back in the 70's. It is a found memory that I have of my father.
The point of this story is now ready to be revealed. The other day, I had a student come to school wearing a tie. He was very well dressed, but you could tell he had no idea how to tie a tie. I happened to be wearing a tie that day, so I pulled him out in the hall and asked him if he wanted me to show him how to tie his tie. He agreed. Now, I teach for a living and think I do a pretty good job explaining things, but I quickly saw that this was going to take more than a crash course in tie tying. I went ahead and tied the tie for him. It did not dawn on me at the time, but later when I was talking to my wife, I remembered that the young man did not live with his father. I do not know the circumstance of why his dad is not at home, but it just made me realize the impact him not being there had. If this kid does not have a dad there to teach him how to tie a tie, how many other more important things is he missing out on? I also thought how fortunate I was to have a mom and a dad in the same home that loved me. They will tell you they were not perfect, but they were both there and they loved me. We have a shortage of daddies in America and it is having a more harmful impact on our kids than alcohol, drugs, or any of the other things that can harm our children.